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DatePosted on May 31, 2017 at 09:18 AM
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Female Lawyers: is your happiness negotiable?

by Lakeshia Ekeigwe in Blog

Countless women lawyers find themselves in the cycle of postponed happiness in various aspects of their life. They are shocked to discover their beliefs, behaviors, and mindsets create a consistent pattern of negotiated happiness.

I have found that at the core, many feel they must somehow earn the right to be happy. As if happiness is a reward.

Photo credit: Chad MaddenPlease know this, happiness is not a reward. Happiness is a choice. Your happiness is your choice and you deserve to be happy now.

Perhaps you can relate to a few real-life examples of postponed happiness below:

"When I make partner, I can slow down and finally enjoy everything I worked so hard to accomplish."

"When I earn more money, I can finally get out of debt and be happy."

"When I lose weight, I will treat myself to a nice wardrobe and then attract the man of my dreams."

"When I attract the man of my dreams, then my life will be much happier."

All of those statements reveal an underlying belief that what you really want is conditional, hinging upon something or someone else. Even worse, that event occurs at some undefined time in the future. So happiness now, in the present, is negotiated and ultimately postponed.

Isn't that sad?

I suggest you reframe any such statements you might be telling yourself when the tendency to negotiate your happiness shows up:

"I have worked very hard to get where I am now. I am going to enjoy every phase of my career journey - living, learning and loving the entire way."

"It is my decision to create an action plan to get out debt. I will get professional advice to find out how to enjoy and maximize my income now while paying down my debt."

"There is more of me to love right now, so I will love myself more. I will make conscious choices about what I put in my body and on my body. My beautiful mind and beautiful heart live in a beautiful body.”

“I am creating a happy life now so I can attract the joyful and loving man of my dreams.” 

Photo credit: Morgan SessionsDo you see how these reframed statements are present-centered and actually energize them?

Happiness is a state of being that arises from the way you experience yourself. Your happiness level is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself, which can and should grow and deepen . . . daily.

If you are engaging in negotiating or postponing your happiness, please, stop doing so now. You deserve to live a happy life now. Reframe anything you might be telling yourself about being happy later. As you know, later may not come.

Would you like to know how I work with women lawyers to help them create happier lives? Email me confidentially at lakeshia@coachingattorneys.com or InMail me here on LinkedIn.

Have you downloaded your free copy of - 3 Huge Mistakes Women Lawyers Make & How You Can Avoid Them?

Banner photo credit: Josh Felish
About the Author

Lakeshia Ekeigwe

Lakeshia's motto is, "I coach women lawyers to create lives they LOVE.

Residing on the US west coast, Lakeshia is certified as both a Life Coach and separately, a Mediator.  In addition, The Asian-Pacific American Legal Center have recognised her skills in Leadership Development, and Lakeshia is a long time member of the world famous organisation, Mensa.

Throughout her career spanning nearly 30 years, Lakeshia has had the privilege of working with and coaching lawyers in North America and around the world. Her work particularly focuses on female attorneys and helping them in both their career and life, through one-on-one consultations and webinars.  

To enquire about Lakeshia's coaching services, please email: lakeshia@coachingattorneys.com. In addition, you can find out more about Lakeshia on her website, www.lifeschoolforlawyers.com.

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